Skank #1 stopped by today to move out more stuff. I don't know what's left in there, but she's been moving stuff out for two and a half months! Today she took the vacuum cleaner, which was likely so little used that she had to move everything else out before she could find it.
While she was here she was complaining to Skank #2 that she was bored. She'd "looked everything up on the Internet," which is pretty freakin' impressive if you think about it. She then said she hates Facebook, and TV is boring. She said she finally got to do what she wanted and watch TV all day, but then found out it was totally boring. Wow Skank #1! Those are some pretty lofty goals you set for yourself. Watching TV all day? Now there's something to strive for! Hey, I've got an idea, how about getting a freakin' job! I know you're a low-life and all, but that's what adults do, they get jobs and support themselves. I know that being out on bail must be exciting for you, but seriously, you should give meaningful employment a shot.
Monday, August 24, 2009
OMG!!!! Chicken legs!!!!
The crack whore next door is sunbathing on the patio in a skimpy string bikini. Ewwwwwwww! She has the skinniest most chicken-like legs I've ever seen on a human being. Icky. Also, I should point out that it's actually cloudy out, not sunny. That might impair the attempts to deepen the tan.
Perhaps I'm being too quick to judge. Maybe the bathing suit is her last clean item of clothing. Without electricity they can't do laundry, so maybe she just happens to be sitting outside wearing the last of her clean clothes. When I was little I had a friend who used to wear her bathing suit bottoms when she ran out of clean underwear. Maybe this is the same thing.
Oh, wait! There's a little bit of sun sneaking out! Soak it up crack whore! Fry the other parts of your body.
All I know is that when her mugshot boyfriend gets home, I'm heading far, far away from the basement (where they live). I don't want to witness any action that skanky bikini provokes.
Perhaps I'm being too quick to judge. Maybe the bathing suit is her last clean item of clothing. Without electricity they can't do laundry, so maybe she just happens to be sitting outside wearing the last of her clean clothes. When I was little I had a friend who used to wear her bathing suit bottoms when she ran out of clean underwear. Maybe this is the same thing.
Oh, wait! There's a little bit of sun sneaking out! Soak it up crack whore! Fry the other parts of your body.
All I know is that when her mugshot boyfriend gets home, I'm heading far, far away from the basement (where they live). I don't want to witness any action that skanky bikini provokes.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
OMG, she's lit something on fire!
OK, so the crack whore next door and her mugshot boyfriend have been living without power for almost a month now. And yes, since I've been down wind a few times, I can tell you that yes, it does reek. It used to smell like a thousand cigarette butts and a lot of pot, but now there's rotten food, sweat and musty stink added in. It's a nice mixture. If Amy Winehouse were to market a perfume that smelled like her house, I imagine the scent would be similar.
But I digress, they've been living without electricity and that means no fans or air conditioning. So last week, when it was 30 degrees Celsius, they abandoned the house (and their cats) to stay somewhere cooler. Either they wore out their welcome elsewhere or 26 degrees Celsius is cool enough for them, because now they've moved back in. While eating my dinner tonight I suddenly smelled something burning. Like a really, really strong smell of something burning. And since I used the BBQ, I knew it wasn't my stove. So I ran through the whole house to try to find the cause of the smell, only to realize it was coming from next door. She'd clearly set something alight. Her back door was propped open to let the smoke and smell out.
So now I'll go to bed every night knowing they're using candles and fire to stay alive next door, and what could be more comforting than 2 junkies using fire in the townhouse attached to mine?
But I digress, they've been living without electricity and that means no fans or air conditioning. So last week, when it was 30 degrees Celsius, they abandoned the house (and their cats) to stay somewhere cooler. Either they wore out their welcome elsewhere or 26 degrees Celsius is cool enough for them, because now they've moved back in. While eating my dinner tonight I suddenly smelled something burning. Like a really, really strong smell of something burning. And since I used the BBQ, I knew it wasn't my stove. So I ran through the whole house to try to find the cause of the smell, only to realize it was coming from next door. She'd clearly set something alight. Her back door was propped open to let the smoke and smell out.
So now I'll go to bed every night knowing they're using candles and fire to stay alive next door, and what could be more comforting than 2 junkies using fire in the townhouse attached to mine?
Sunday, August 2, 2009
A light, through the lack of lights, at the end of the tunnel?
Since I last wrote, Skank #2 had an all night party. It was like having a rave at my house... except I'd never, ever have a rave at my house.
Skank #2 has a new boyfriend. And, gasp, he's also a convicted drug dealer. She certainly has a type.
Skank #1 has found herself a little red wagon that she uses to take things from the house to her truck. Although I appreciate the irony of using an innocent child's toy to remove things from a crack house, it is a little pathetic, but also exciting. The more stuff that's gone means we're one step closer to never seeing (or hearing) Skank #1 again.
The most important and BEST development? They don't have power! Their electricity has been cut off. I normally wouldn't be happy about someone losing their electricity, but in this case, it means they're defaulting on payments, which means we're one step closer to saying goodbye to the Crack Whore Next Door.
I got excited after the first drug bust, but then Dumb-as-Dirt got out 3 days later. Then, 5 weeks later, I got excited again when Dumb-as-Dirt was arrested again. Silly me. After he got out and was busted again 9 days later, I got excited again, only to find the Crack Whore living next door. So I'm trying to remain rational and calm about this. But it really does finally seem like the end of the nightmare is nigh.
Skank #2 has a new boyfriend. And, gasp, he's also a convicted drug dealer. She certainly has a type.
Skank #1 has found herself a little red wagon that she uses to take things from the house to her truck. Although I appreciate the irony of using an innocent child's toy to remove things from a crack house, it is a little pathetic, but also exciting. The more stuff that's gone means we're one step closer to never seeing (or hearing) Skank #1 again.
The most important and BEST development? They don't have power! Their electricity has been cut off. I normally wouldn't be happy about someone losing their electricity, but in this case, it means they're defaulting on payments, which means we're one step closer to saying goodbye to the Crack Whore Next Door.
I got excited after the first drug bust, but then Dumb-as-Dirt got out 3 days later. Then, 5 weeks later, I got excited again when Dumb-as-Dirt was arrested again. Silly me. After he got out and was busted again 9 days later, I got excited again, only to find the Crack Whore living next door. So I'm trying to remain rational and calm about this. But it really does finally seem like the end of the nightmare is nigh.
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