June 8, 2009: My drug dealing neighbour gets out on bail after 5 weeks in jail for possession of ecstasy. He was first arrested in a major drug raid in March. Got out on bail 3 days later. Five weeks later he was caught again with a lesser amount of ecstasy, did the jail time, is out free again June 8, 2009. For the second time in 3 months I am subjected to a) an absolute loser, lowlife, noisy, dumb-as-dirt neighbour, and b) the sounds of dumb-as-dirt having "I just got out on bail again" sex.
June 10, 2009: Home from work, sick in bed with the worst stomach virus of my life, I am once again subjected to the sound of dumb-as-dirt having sex at approximately 3pm. At approximately 3:15pm I watch his girlfriend arrives home. That's right, she is stupid enough to stand by her man, and he cheats on her 2 days after getting out on bail WHILE STILL LIVING WITH HER. Turns out, his ex-girlfriend has moved in with them. Skank #1 (current girlfriend) is apparently a little too trusting of Skank #2 (ex-girlfriend). **It's worth noting that it's him I'm hearing having sex, in addition to the Skanks. The sound is burned on my brain forever, like battery acid on flesh, and it's directly tied to my vomit reflex.
June 17, 2009: Drug squad raids dumb-as-dirt's house again, smashing in front door a la TV movie. And, because he's dumb-as-dirt, he's once again caught with drugs and once again hauled off to jail, as is Skank #1. It's her second time being arrested. Skank #2 is charged but left to live in the house (yeah me!)
June 18, 2009: Skank #1's parents arrive to pack up her stuff.
June 19, 2009: Skank #1 is out on bail. Over the next two weeks she starts moving out her stuff, and his. Hurrah! Could this be the end of the dumb-as-dirt neighbour?
July 1, 2009: Notice that Skank #1 and Skank #2 are hanging out a lot. Skank #1 has moved out, but is still visiting the house every day. She must have a bail curfew because she always leaves in the early evening.
July 5, 2009: Skank #1 visiting again. Only other person known to be in house is Skank #2. Visitors are easy to track. The front door is not useable because the police have smashed it in one too many times. So everyone has to enter using the back gate. I spent my whole day outside and only one person entered the house - Skank #1. Late afternoon, while having a BBQ, I (good god) hear Skank #1 having sex. This means one of three things: 1. dumb-as-dirt is out on bail again, which is unlikely as he was supposed to be in jail for a year or more and wasn't seen entering the house. 2. Skank #1 is cheating on her boyfriend in what is now Skank #2's house. 3. Skank #1 and Skank #2 are now a couple.
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